FENWAY PARK EFFECTS: I WATCH BASEBALL AND RIP OFF GAMMONS

I am lucky enough to have satellite television at my house. I rent and DirecTV was here when I moved in. Since it was already installed we just left it in, rather than go through the hassle of switching to cable. Now, MLB's ill-advised decision to limit its Extra Innings package to DirecTV while excluding cable means I'm the only Red Sox fan here in Philly (there are more of us than you think - we're like roaches in the walls (there are more of them than you think)) that I know who can watch the Sox games. I mention this because if any other Philly-based Red Sox blogs try to tell you they "saw" a game on TV, now you know they're lying.

On an off-day for the Sox, here are some MLB notes from around the league:

If you thought things were bad for the Washington Nationals, well, they're only getting worse. Opening Day, or "Opening Week", saw two Nationals players go down. Today they were both placed on the disabled list. Welcome to Washington, were even shitty things are shittier than they seem.

Good Cardinals News: Your "World Champion" St. Louis Cardinals got their World Series Bling yesterday. The more I think about the fact that an 83 win team made the playoffs, let alone saw the fates align to hand them the softest World Series win in my 31 years on this planet, the more I get like this guy.

By all accounts, the Yankees had an emotional day at the Stadium, before wupp'n the Tampa "Don't call us 'devil'" Rays bullpen for their first win of the year. Still, there are some high points for us yankee-haters out here in cyber-land. Can't-Pitch-Carl Pavano reminded us all that, oh yeah, he can't pitch very well. Also, not only did he pitch badly, but he lost out on this.

Bad Cardinals News: Potential Cy Young contender and only decent Cardinals starter Chris Carpenter is hurt. Carpenter may miss his next start due to a "sore elbow." Carpenter, you'll remember, wasn't so stellar against the Mets on Opening... uh, night. Maybe theres more going on here than just a sore elbow. Cardinals fans better hope not.